dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
even my farts smell like vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
