Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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