The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
