Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
