After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you will always have a special place in my vag
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
