I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
