Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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