We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
