he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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