dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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