How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
