we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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