Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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