Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
