So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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