where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
