i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
