Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
