Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
