I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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