People in love make me want to vomit
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
