I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
