You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
