i think i have two assholes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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