Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
