I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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