I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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