I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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