I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
