I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The air taste purple.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
