she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
