If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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