ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He felt like a one man threesome
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
