Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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