Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You made out with two different species that night
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
