So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
