I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
