Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
