If i come over, it means nothing
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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