I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
