You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Randomize
