do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
