I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
