out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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