Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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