He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I smell stomach acid.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Boobs speak an international language.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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