It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
third nipple confirmed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
