Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
