Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
