nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
